My boss's new fish

My boss got a fish.

It's a betta, which are cool and you only need one. Let's name the fish, oh I dunno, Chuck Norris.

Chuck's got a good setup. He could of been stuck in a brandy snifter for the next couple years but he's not. Instead, he's got one of those little pimped out fish-tank-in-a-box thingys and is living large. His comfortable surroundings are part of the problem though - I'm afraid he's getting soft, and that won't do.

I've got me a plan for 'ole Chuck. Seems unlikely that another betta will just swim into the office anytime soon so we need to find Chuck a new sparing partner. It's the humane thing to do. They aren't called the "Siamese Boring Hermit Fish" for a reason. Since there are so few fish species native to our particular office environment, I know the right thing to do is teach him to fight people.

The plan is as follows:

Step 1: Training
1. get picture of boss
2. paste picture to side of tank
3. play "eye of the tiger" on a little fishy iPod

People are big, so I think Chuck may need to train for good long while. Either way, once we exit the training phase you know it's fight time!

Step 2: The Fight
1. boss opens fish-feedy door
2. oh no! what's this? FISH ATTACK!!!

If the boss-man is anything, he's level headed. I'm pretty sure he'd be able to free his thumbnail from Chuck's iron maw with little to no damage caused to either contender.

I'm pretty sure this is the best plan I've ever had.